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How to Deal with a Motherload of Responsibilities Raising an Influencer

Q&A by The247

After enjoying Mother’s Day with the family, Heidi D'Amelio led a panel of parents discussing the unique balance of raising their children and balancing time and boundaries for content creation.

Why do parents of Creators need to foster a support community?

Heidi: (Heidi D'Amelio, mother of Charli D'Amelio and Dixie D'Amelio)

In late summer of 2019, my two daughters blew up on Tik Tok. And with that, we grew as a family. So we have, uhhh, been a little busy. And it all happened so fast.

Charli and Dixie are now 18 and almost 21, and there’s no right way to do this. There's no manual, which is why I'm so happy to be a part of this with The 247, because I know when we started, there was no place to go and ask the questions that we probably have all had, whether we're creators ourselves or whether our children are creators.

Tina: (mother of Michael Le aka justmaiko)

My son Michael grew his platform and wanted to move out to LA. And I trusted him, and I'm so glad that I trusted him, that he's doing well. And we wanted the family to all stay together. It was a big decision, and as a single mom, raising four kids, I was scared. I wanted to make sure that all my kids were taken care of.

How does being a mother impact your journey as a creative?

Ebony + Denise: (creators of Team2Moms)

Our whole mission is about normalizing LGBTQ plus parenting. Our content is very intentional and very thoughtful. When we create content, we ask ourselves the question: how do we want to represent our family?

We have young children. When we create content, we don't want them to look back, whether it's tomorrow, or five years from now, and have them feel embarrassed or annoyed by the content we put out. So you're still aware, always that Mama Bear. And as our daughter gets older, she's very articulate and well-spoken, and shares what her boundaries are as well.

Heidi: I agree with that. And my kids are a little bit older now, but if (my partner) Mark or I say something, it could affect the kids and their platforms. So we never want to do anything to disrupt what they have going on. Sometimes you want to clap back, add some comments or whatever, and… it's just not worth it.

How do you balance family time with content time?

Tina: So we do have two to three days a week that a videographer comes over. Then we try to make sure at least one or two days a week we’re just able to spend quality time with the kids and not do any content. I also involve them in activities every day, something for them to enjoy, so they don't feel like they're just always making content.

Heidi: Yeah, when we started, the kids were creating content whenever they felt like it. And then it came to a point where it was like, “okay, we really got to get this scheduled and dialed in.” So for Mark and I, our job is to make sure it's very much in a box. And those lines blur very easily because sometimes making content is just fun stuff, and sometimes it's work stuff that has to get done.

Schedule it as much as it seems hard to schedule. It's so important, like: this is my window. This is what I'm going to do it. Then after that, we’re going to be a family.

Mom-shaming, unfortunately, is a thing – whether you're on the internet or not. How do you handle that?

Anisha: (mother of Avani Gregg aka avani)

Avani is very protective of her family, especially her siblings. So if they have (negative feedback), she hasn't shared it with me. What was an issue for me was explaining it all to my family members – we have a huge family back in Indiana. To them, they're just like, you're crazy. Why would you risk your family and put their safety at risk? They may or may not agree with what I'm allowing her to do, so that was more challenging for me because I'm not on social media.

Ebony + Denise:

I will say we get way more support than shaming. Probably the number one thing we occasionally get is: you are exploiting your children, or you're using your children as props. Which is on the contrary, right? We are giving her the tools to communicate and share her own mind and what she feels. And we're giving her a platform to express her thoughts, whether it's about having two moms or just being 10. A good percentage of our audience is her peers, especially on TikTok.

So we just use (this feedback) as educational moments. There are times where we'll flip comments that are more demeaning, and exchange the same energy into learning opportunities. So, mental health. You don't have to always clap back.

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